whispers of the morning

home sweet home

2006-11-09T11:19:00.000-08:00

I've got my own place. Check out my website at Simply Dawn Marie !

Hope to see you there!

~Dawn

Yes another sticky note!

2006-07-27T13:33:00.000-07:00

Patt has told me I can spend the money and go ahead and host my site with wordpress. But I have to wait until sometime next month. Until I decide who I'm using and when I have time then I'll be setting up another site. Until then I hope you'll visit me on wordpress.com where I'm posting for now. Go here for my where I am posting !

Even this morning I tried and couldn't post then after I signed out about 3 hours later 2 of same post were there.

Please be patient with me while I get my own site togehter. It may take a few weeks or even a month or so, then again, who knows. I've got time off coming up and I'll work on it then.

Thanks everyone! Dawn

sticky note....

2006-07-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

I've been playing around with wordpress....Let me know what you think.

https://whispersofthemorning.wordpress.com/

Same blog title it's just over at wordpress too. I started playing around a few months ago when blogger started having problems and I think I like it better over there....

Now I want your opinion.... I'm having a hard time trying to decide what to do! Stay or go again...

Regular post continue below!

Thinking about it real hard....

2006-06-14T06:37:00.002-07:00

Yes it hurts to be thinking as much as I have been. I've been going back and forth between stay with blogger move to wordpress. I don't want to move to wordpress and still miss being able to change my templet and do the things I like doing, so over the next few weeks I'm going to start looking at a place to host my site and make one more move and be done. I think if I download wordpress and host it I'll be able to do more than what I want to. It's just going to take time and right now I don't have that much time to spare, but I'm going to start working on it. So until then I'm going to use both blogs, this one and the wordpress so I can get use to it. If blogger is having problems and I can't post then I'll post on wordpress. It's the same name, instead of blogger it's wordpress.... So until then I've got a lot to figure out. I just hope it's not too hard.

I was shocked when I told Patt what I wanted to do and that it cost to host your own blog. He told me to go far it if that's what I wanted to do. Just quit moving! It'll give me something to do when he's out riding:)

Today....fingers crossed my new helmet will be here and I'm feeling better which means come Friday night I want to go out on the bike! I've got too much to do Saturday and Sunday being Father's Day I might need to go see dad sometime this weekend!

Well I'm off to call and check on the new mommy and baby, and I brought my camera with me if they feel up to company!!!

Thinking about it real hard....

2006-06-14T06:37:00.001-07:00

Welcom "K"

2006-06-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

So excited to share some really wonderful news with my friends. Our friend Christy just sent me a message that their little boy "K" has made his arrival. All I know now is 7 lbs and 20 inches. They are both resting now and as soon as she feels like company I'm off to the hospital. It's just down the road from my office. I knew I should have brought my camera today!

So the group has a new member!!! And he made just in time for his mom's birthday Friday!

Guilty because your bike is blue and white???

2006-06-12T06:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all the well wishes! I'm still alive! Feeling better, but I still don't have all my energy back. I did what I needed to do over the weekend and that was rest. I fought it at first. My new helmet was suppose to be in Friday (now it'll be Wednesday) and I wanted to ride this weekend. Insteed Friday night I took my meds and slept. Got up early Saturday (thanks new neighbors to be) went ahead and went to the grocery store. Came home and pretty much was lazy. During energy spurts I'd do a few things needed to be done, but pretty much took it easy. Sunday went to church had a lunch fund raiser for our youth then I was surpised, the group was going to some race track and Patt decided not to go, instead we went to the movies! Alone just the two of us. Nice surpise to spend the afternoon with Patt!

Now the real fun was what happened to Patt Saturday afternoon has now made me loose faith in our police officers. I can't have repect for somone who treated Patt the way he did. Saturday Patt and 2 other guys were riding. They were downtown, no cutting up, not spending. It is well know to be on your very best behavior in this town and Patt has been told after two tickets he'd better be good or else! The are going down a street and a police office passes them, turns around and follows them for a little while. No problem they were not doing anything wrong or so they thought. He finally stops them, then calls Patt to the back away from the other guys and this is what happened.

Officer: Why did you out run me?

Patt: I didn't out run you. When was this?

Officer: About a month ago on a rainny night.

Patt: Sir, I don't ride my bike in the rain.

Officer: Then who did you lend your bike to?

Patt: I don't lend my bike to anyone it wasn't me. I'm not the only one with a blue and white bike.

Officer: (get's ticket book out)

Patt: Why are you giving me a ticket?

Officer: Your tag is improperly displayed.

Patt: Can I go home and fix it. I've been stopped before and no one has said anything about my tag.

Officer: Don't get an attitude with me.

Patt: I'm not, but you already had me guilty when you pulled me over. I didn't out run you. I've got my endorsement, have insurance, tag in date, can't you give me a break.

Officer: I'm about you throw you in jail, then you'll have to bond out, get your bike out and still pay for the ticket.

(By now Patt does have an attitude I think)

Officer: (Gives Patt the ticket) there's a number on there if you have any questions.

Patt: I'll call and ask them if I have this taken care of will they let the ticket go.

Officer: (takes ticket back and writes NO HELP on it)

The officer now goes to our friend who's bike is out of state since last August, tag placed just like Patt's, no endoresement, and no insurance. Gives him a ticket only for the tag and endoresment and tells him in front of Patt if he gets the two things fix he'll tear the ticket up.

By now Patt just gets on his bike and leaves.

Ok my husband can be a pain in the rear end, a jerk at times, but one thing he does not do and that's lie. He's gotton two tickets one for going 68 in a 55 which on a bike is slow.....and one for doing a wheelie in town. He did it got to pay the ticket, but to get a ticket because the officer assumed he out ran him because a guy on a blue and white bike did. Wrong!

Back several, several months ago I'm on the cell phone talking to my mom and see this guy coming up and I tell mom, there's Patt, what's he doing in town. I swear this is Patt, then he gets beside me and it's NOT Patt. Now if his own wife can't tell for sure how can a cope on a dark, rainny night. Now I can tell Patt, he's the only one with a jacket like he has. But not then.

Ok it's Monday off to get some work done!

2006-06-10T05:56:00.000-07:00

I am still sick and have not gone out and taken any pictures this week of our community. I don't have many and was looking forward to taking some pictures, but instead I've spent the week in the doctors office and in bed. This afternoon I still want to come around and see everyone's photo for today!

Until then you may want to say a little prayer for the people building next to us. There's nothing like feeling bad and being woke at at 6 a.m. to the sound of hammers and saws! I understand wanting to build your house, but do you really need to start all the noise so early????

Ok the grouch is going back to bed :)

2006-06-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

Wish I could get excited about it being Friday, but I just can't. The quick fix shot did help for about a day then I was back to feeling bad. Went and filled one of the prescipitions yesterday and it's made me sleepy. I ordered a new helmet for me and it will be in this afternoon and I can't even go riding with Patt. So I'll spend my weekend trying to get well while Patt is out having fun. I know I shouldn't be selfish but the thought of spending the weekend at home is no thrilling to me. Fingers crossed if by Sunday afternoon I'm doing ok he'll take me out for a little while.

While he's out I think I'm going to start looking to where I can move my blog. I'm getting tired of not being able to upload pictures and all the problems going on, plus I get bored and want to learn how to do something else. I've been playing around with wordpress and really like it.

Well since I'm at work I guess I'll do something. Wish I had something exciting to say, but all I've done this week is sleep, cough and sneeze!

Long wait, but worth it.

2006-06-07T10:38:00.001-07:00

Finally after having to wait 2 hours to see the doctor I got my shot I was so badly wanted. I do not like needles and I don't like shots, but I love this one more than a big bowl of pasta from The Olive Garden! He was like I can give you a pill since I know you don't like shots and I was like UMMm NOOOO I'll take the shot. This way by in the morning I'll feel like being alive!

So after 4 prescriptions and a shot I'm starting to feel human again! He did say that we may need to think of allergy testing. I think I hurt my cousins feelings. She's wants to be a nurse and she's taken a few classes, so when it came time for my shot she was ready to give it to me. I had the choice of arm or "the other" place and since there is so much more fat there I choose the other place. Come to find out she can only give shots in the arm. That shot is so thick it already hurts when going in and told her next time I have blood drawn she can do it. Man she scared me with that look in her eye, she came in there with that needle and the words pay back time. Flashbacks of growing up and me being bossy in charge cousin I was ready to run!

Ok not really much going on so I think I'll take a nap, but don't tell the boss!

Long wait, but worth it.

2006-06-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

cough cough sneeze sneeze oh what a relief it is

2006-06-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

This is me right now......cough,cough, cough, gag, cough, sneeze sneeze, dang it got to blow nose again, cough, sneeze, sneeze......Help!!!!

When Mr. Penny saver says go to the doctor or else.....it's time. Get something, just get over this mess before you give it to me!

It was so cool this morning, ok cool for MS weather, and I walked Patt out this morning. Ruby was running around the yard, Patt smiling getting into his truck and me just saying put me out of my misery please! Allergy time oh wow what a feeling!

So at 2 o'clock I will be happily sitting in my doctors office, each time the nurse comes out I'll pray please call my name, then I will beg for a shot so that I can go home, put my yucky feeling tail on the couch and pray once again maybe tonight I can sleep without getting up 30 times to blow my nose and gag!

Oh and to top my day off, girl at the office called me, she didn't like the way I gave them their reports this morning. I didn't put it on a silver plater for her I guess, could I from now on put all the teams together so she don't have to. It would be much easier for her. My response---whatever which in my world means UH NO!

Let's see also going on in my world, a friend from past days was sentensed to 18 years in jail yesterday for road rage. I've learned a lot I didn't know. If you want to read it in our paper it's titled-- Drive By Shooting -- I haven't seen or talked to him in about 5 years. I have no clue what made him do this or why.

Going to do a few things before I leave. Can't believe I'm happy about going to the doctor!

A Dog's Life

2006-06-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

It must be nice. Ruby gets to lay around all day, eat, sleep, play and get all the attention! This dog is spoiled rotten and I mean for real!
I couldn't sleep last night so I went and got on the couch for a little while, came back and this thing has the whole bed to herself and did not want to let me back in! The sad thing is she knows she's spoiled. Ok enough about our child.

Pretty much lazy, boring weekend. Don't have a whole lot to say about it. The same ole same ole. Cleaned, laundry, grocery shopping, Patt rode, while Ruby and I watched movies. There was actually something on lifetime I hadn't seen 20 times already. Sunday, after church, while Patt played on the 4 wheeler I went over to one of our friends and sat out at the pool and talked and watched their kids swim.
Nothing exciting.

I did call my brother and told him he needed to have some fun while his wife is out of town and he told me he was enjoying himself doing yard work and clearing a fence row. So let's see, hang out on the couch and watch tv OR get hot, yucky clearing a fence row....hands down air condition is my way so I didn't do anything with my brother. Maybe another weekend, but we did talk a lot which was good for both of us.
So it's off to get some work done. Wow it's Monday...again!

Photo Scavnger Hunt Number # 3 for me!

2006-06-02T12:30:00.000-07:00

Want to have fun and join the Photo Scavenger Hunt?

Join Here

I promise not all my pictures will be of my crazy husband riding a motorcyle but with today's theme being Mirror--I thought I'd play around with my camera while we were going to meet up with some friends on Memorial Day, and take some pictures of Patt through my side mirror on my car.

I sometimes freak out while he's doing some of this stuff, but then I think he could be off doing worst things than this. When I feel in love with him I knew he was crazy!

2006-06-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my friend Paula over at Paula's Walk ! Go check out her new look for her blog that her sweet husband gave her for her birthday. He's so sweet! I love how she shares her walk each day as a daughter of the Lord, a wife, a mother and a friend. She is an amazing lady and I am so blessed to have found her blog and call her my friend!

Happy Birthday Paula!!!!!!

Yesterday I finally finished my billing only to have 2 days before it's time to start all over again. I needed to work on uploading some pictures on Patt's Page and on the groups page No Affiliation but I played around instead.

I've been playing around some on wordpress. There are things I like better about blogger, but there are things I like better on wordpress too. So I've decided to have both for now. My main blog will be my Whispers page. It's what I know and even though they have problems at times, I'm learning who doesn't...Then I've started a prayer journal, a photo blog, and a page called Break Time . So, if you want to see where to make a doll, or find out what kind of PJ's your are OR I just couldn't resist this one......How Blonde Are You???? Go check out my other page.

My mom is on her way to see what the doctors have decided so I'm going to do a little work until I hear from her I guess....maybe....after all it is Friday! Then I'm going to work the websites for Patt. It may be motorcycles but it's what he loves, so I'm going to see if I can make some changes to their pages and make him smile!

Then I've got to decided what picture to post for tomorrow's Photo Scavenger Hunt! Tomorrow's theme...mirror! Ok everyone have a good weekend!

2006-06-01T08:17:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Things that Dawn is thinking about1Â. I wasn't going to do my 13 today, but since I'm almost finished with my deadline I don't feel guilty for doing it.

2. Today is the first day of hurricane season. Even in central Mississippi it's a scary thought.

3. Last night Patt and I were talking about how we made it through Katrina. It was a week of things I never thought I'd have to do, but I learned so much about myself and Patt. Since then I love to turn everything off and go sit outside and enjoy all that God has created, even the sound of crickets.

4. We laughed about how Patt could sleep with ageneratorr running, but as soon as it would click off he'd have to leave the room because of my snoring. Yes I snore and admit it:(

5. We are excited that any day our friend Christy will be having a baby. Can't wait. I need to start carrying my camera with me so I don't have to run to the house to get it.

6. My SIL is going out of town this weekend and I'm thinking of calling my brother and seeing if he'd like to go out to eat just me and him. Can't remember the last time I did something with just my brother.

7. I need to go pick up my contacts. Patt's godfather brought them to his parents this past weekend so I need to go get them.

8. I've decided not to teach Sunday School when they change classes in August. I know I'll miss it, but I think it's best so I can go and do things with my family at my old church sometimes.

9. I want to go see the new X-Men movie. Has anyone seen it yet?

10. I need to pray that I can get over the hate I've got in my heart right now. I'm starting to get depressed just because I feel guilty for feeling the way I do.

11. Patt has a birthday next month and I'm trying to decide what to get him and what to do. Maybe a fun ride and have the whole group go out or something.

12. I need to get more creative with my 13 next week.

13. Off to finish up my work so I can go visit all of you. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
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Pay day!!!

2006-05-31T06:33:00.000-07:00

It's so nice to have money for about an hour! It's pay day so that means it's bill day too~~~once I balance the checkbook and start writing some checks we'll be broke one again. So glad Patt gets paid weekly!

Ok last week I thought I was going to go crazy after seeing someone I haven't seen in 1 1/2 years. I am being tested big time! This person has made my life #$%& since I was 19 years old. Even worst, she use to be my best friend and she's my cousin. Too long of a story to go into details, but I will say that because of her I almost killed myself and because of her I didn't think I was worthy of God's love or even human contact for that matter, because of her I thought if my cousin, my best friend judges me so bad and can hurt me so bad just because she didn't like something I did, then how can I expect the world to love me, how can God love me, if this person can't even love me. So I have closed myself up from the world and not let anyone in for about the last 15 years of my life. I have been so afraid if someone knew I was a sinner that they would hate me just like she does. (Ok she does not claim to hate me, but if what she does and says is love I want nothing to do with it) I have been missing out on real friendship and I'm so glad that I'm starting to let people back in my heart again. I feel like I'm finally starting to live.

So here are some picturs from Monday of some people I am slowly starting to feel like I can actually be friends with. I have learned that everyone has made some bad choices and that you can find Christian love in the most amazing places!

Patt and Mike racing their pocket bikes.

Mike holding Patt back to give "P" a head start on the race.

Christy blowing bubbles with "A". Any day now Christy will be having our newest addition to the group! Baby "K"!

Mike with "A". They are not riding fast he's just barly riding her on the bike.

Mike and "A" racing "K". Don't worry the bike's top speed in only 10 mph.

David (the hunter). Here is dedication. Broke leg and he still rides his motorcyle.

Mike taking his other daughter for a ride. These three girls love to ride with their daddy almost as much as they love their daddy. You can tell they have a great wonderful family. So thankful that Mike and Alexis have let us become a part of their family. Their girls are so sweet and amazing and they make really good cookies:)

2006-05-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a great and safe Memorial weekend! We did and I loved the long weekend, just didn't like having to get up and come back to work this morning. I could have sleep until noon if given the chance I think.

We rode Friday night until I dropped my helmet and broke the visor. Patt rode Saturday while I went to mom and dad's to visit them. They are now thinking her problems are not migraines but some problems with a couple disks in her neck. She's going for a CT of the neck this morning, then the doctors will decide next step. She's know about the problem in her neck for a couple of years and I think she'll have to have surgrey. She's been putting it off and I think now it may be time. Sunday we were lazy!!!! Had every intention of cooking out and enjoying the day together, but after church we went grocery shopping, came home and both fell asleep on the couch. Didn't cook-out started rainning so we did that last night:)

A bunch of the group and their families all got together to play around yesterday. We found a road that there's no traffic and the guys rode. The kids brought their pocket bikes and Mr. Jimmy (Patt) raced them and the kids played and had more fun than the big kids. I've got some great pics, but I've got to edit some of them. Everyone decided to come out to our house and we finally cooked our steaks, oh and it rained again, but we cooked anyway. Starting to learn this is not some ordinary group that Patt is hanging out with. I think we are turning into a really neat group of friends. One of the guys made a comment to Patt how great it was that we were all cooking out again that they don't have many friends and they enjoy being with everyone. I think if I let myself I may have some good friends here too. I just have to open myself up to trusting that not everyone in the world is out to hurt me. Everything happens for a reason and I think I saw someone last week that made me realize I've been shutting the door to friendship and trust because I've shut the door and wouldn't let anyone in. Maybe it's time to unlock that door.

Ok more later. I've got a deadline for Thursday with some work, so must jump in and get it done. Have a great day!!!

Photo Hunt

2006-05-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

This weeks theme: red, white, and blue in honor of Memorial Day

Grab the Scavenger Hunt Code and Blogroll here

While trying to decide what to do for red, white and blue, I was looking through some pictures and trying to decide and saw this one. They are wearing all colors in their outfits. My nephew Hunter and my sweetie Patt. We were taking picutres all the January's birthday people on with each month and it got to their month and Hunter was like, cool Uncle Patt and I have the same birthday. They don't but we can't get him to understand it, so we'll just pretend since he's all excited about them having the same birtday.

Hubby on a Suzuki GSX-R 1000. It's blue, white with the "R" in red. This is what we do on the weekends and I guess with us having a long weekend we'll be riding more!

So not only are our motorcycles red, white and blue so is our 4 wheeler. This is what we do when we are not on the motorcycle.

My poor yard, at least we are in the country!

I'm thankful that we live in a country that we have the freedom to do crazy stuff like we do. We have the freedom to make our choices, live our lives, and be FREE! Thank you to all the veterns thoses who have fought and thoses that will fight so that we may be free to live our life the way we want to. To have the freedom to choose our religion, our jobs, who we marry, everything. I sometimes forget what our country has gone through to be free. Thank You!

God Bless All of Us!

If you participate with in the Scavenger Hunt please leave your name so I can make sure to come visit you this weekend!

Happy Thursday!!!

2006-05-24T20:32:00.000-07:00

Thriteen Reasons Dawn Need a Nice Hot Bubble Bath

( and maybe a glass of wine too! )

1. I have been stessed that I had to remove my old blog (all about funand life) and start this new one because a co-worker was reading it everyday.

2. Same co-worker is driving us nuts at work and will not turn the a/c on low enough to cool the office off. She's cold. Well we're hot and it's 90 degrees outside!

3. My mom is in the hospital with mirgaines that act like a stroke. If they don't get them under control they think this could lead to a stroke.

4. Someone I love dearly is worried about his marriage and I can't fix it for him. Wish I could but this is something he has to work out himself.

5. Hubby has been offered a job that will be more money but he will have to work nonstop for 6 months and it's an hour away from our home. He has a month to make a decission.

6. Just found out there will be a new program that I will have to start billing for. Problem is my case mangers can't get the program they already have done right. I wish before they make new programs they would talk to the people who have to deal with all the problems first instead of running head first and having us clean up the mess.

7. Rumor has it Jackson is getting an arena football team which will be located by our building. This means they will be pulling our lease on the property, buying our building and we will be moving. If/when don't know yet, but it sounds like it's a done deal.

8. Last year a friend from the past was involved with a road rage shooting. He has pleaded guilty and will be sentensed in a few weeks. His ex girlfriend who is still one of my friends calls me wanting to talk nonstop about him going to jail and now she feels sorry for him. Sorry you shot and hit a young lady in the arm. He could have killed her, wrong is wrong!

9. Mom's side of the family is wanting to have a big 4th of July family cookout. After the Easter cookout, Dawn and Jimmy will make an excuse! Now I just have to find a way not to make mom upset.

10. I've got to have a tooth pulled. The thought of it makes me so scared.

11. Every time I turn around someone is asking when we're going to have a baby. This is driving me nuts. We're almost ready we just need a little more time.

12. I want to change churches and I don't want to hurt our pastors feelings. I adore him and his wife, I just don't care for the some things going on in our church. Time will tell if we leave.

13. Last reason I need a bubble bath. I just want one!!! Just because it's so relaxing and I just want to relax and enjoy some peace and quit!

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wake up Dawn!

2006-05-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

I went to the dentist yesterday and it was not good. I've got a tooth that's been hurting, I'm thinking no biggie, well it is a biggie and it didn't hurt bad until I went to the dentist. It's in the back and I think I'm going to have it pulled. She can't do anything until I take this nice bottle of antibiotics and until she messed with it the pain was just minor. Now it's major! Last night I thought I was going to go crazy with the pain. I had already taken advil and nothing, so I pulled out some pain meds from a previous apt and took it. Talk about lala land! It took about an hour for the pain to calm down, and by then I was feeling good - until I woke up. I use to have the best teeth and now it's like horrible. I brush, floss, I do what I'm suppose to do. I don't drink milk, so I wonder if I'm not getting enough calcium. I just know I'm dreading this!

My mom had a spell with her migriane. She's been having more and more and not telling anyone and from what I understand the type she's having can lead to a stroke. They put her in the hospital yesterday thinking she was about to have one. Today they are running more test. She's been going through this for over a year now so I hope they get things straight. They are talking about putting her on some type of migraine thepary ( which I don't know much about) and seeing if it will make the spells less painful and in numbers. I have migraines but mine are nothing like hers. She has the major headache with chest pains, numbness of the arm, her face goes numb then tingles and she has a hard time talking. I'm going up there at lunch so I hope by then she'll know more.

It is so hard seeing your parents start to get weak. She's not as strong as she use to be and she can't bounce back as quick as she use to. With dad being legally blind and mom being the caretaker, she really needs some rest right now. She's going non-stop and it's about time to start saying the word NO and start taking time to rest.

I've kept watching even with Chris not performing anymore. Chris was my favorite and I do think he will go far with greater and bigger opportunities, but now it's down to Kat and Taylor.

I've watched all seasons except the first one. To me this has been the best season yet! I will be happy for either one of them to win. There's things I love about both of them and after tonight I will be able to leave my tv and go back to the real world. That is until another reailty show comes on. Yes I need help, I love reality shows!

Off to work I go.

Bandaide for the broken heart?

2006-05-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a big ole bandaide for someone I love more than life. I got a phone call Saturday morning with the question from someone, "can you fall out of love with someone"? It broke my heart the converstation I had. Now I'm wondering did I help or make matters worst? Plus finding out that this person was hurting and me not get in the middle was and is hard! I would do anything in the world to stop this person from hurting. I've cried so much and the angry I feel I don't like it.

So I've been thinking, can you fall out of love if you are really in love to began with? Scary question to ask someone who's been through a divorce.

First husband, let's just call him "Bob". Not his real name. As I explained to this person I don't feel I was ever truly in love with Bob. To be completely honest I was running really fast away from a painful heart ache that involved Patt. I wanted far away from him at the time and Bob lived in Baton Rouge and showed me a life I never experienced, so I believe I was in love with the life style Bob was offering me and not Bob himself. So I don't think I fell out of love, I don't believe I ever really loved him to began with. For that I am truly sorry for being with him and for the wrong reasons. I don't think I did it on purpose. I think I wanted to love him, but to be honest my heart as always been with my blue eyes since that day I met him.

So now this persons partner thinks they have fallen out of love and I don't know how to answer the question. I do know marriage is hard! It's not the fantasy life we dream of as little girls. Prince Charming will turn into this guy who speaks at times only to say "hey sweetie, while you're up will get me a ______"(insert any word, coke, cookies, ice cream, tea, advil, napkin, you get the picture). Then you start to wonder is the grass greener on the other side. He's not what I thought marriage would be! No it hasn't been. Now do I think I'm married to Prince Charming? Of course I do....BUT I don't think I live in that fantasy world that I use to. Life, marriage, your job it all throws really big curve balls and it bites. It's just how we handle it. Me, I know I'm blessed. It's taken a lot of work, a lot of tears, really big fights, a broken bar stool, sleepless nights, a whole lot of praying, and work. Hard work. Marriage is not something you say I do, then eat your cake and life's a piece of cake. Loving your partner through the hard times takes love and communication. You can't give up.

So what do I tell this person when they are wanting their marriage to work, and does not want to give up and the partner it sounds like already has given up? To give up years, a family, a life, just because it's not fun right now? You have to actually take care of your family and you can't go out with your friends like you use to? I don't understand it.

I can't judge, I can't fix it, and I can't say anything. I can pray and pray some more.

we rode, he rode, we rode...

2006-05-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

I have rode the motorcycle with Patt more this weekend than I have all year. Friday night I shocked everyone and actually went out. Even today one of the guys made the comment that they'd seen more more this weekend than since we met. I am tired, have done no housework, but I've had a blast.

Friday night we met up with everyone and it's the first time I've been out at night. It was really nice to have some of the guys wives/girlfriends come up to me and tell me they feel like they know me becaue Jimmy (Patt) talks about me nonstop. I still can not believe that me the prissy girl that turned country rides on a motorcyle with a crazy girl named my husband going speeds I will not even talk about. Oh and I loved it. Except for the curves. I do not like them and Patt loves to fly through them. We went out to this place they stunt and play around and I was surprised at how good Patt is. We finally made it home and got to bed around 2 a.m.

Saturday they were meeting up to ride and since he couldn't play with me on the back Friday he went out while I called one of the girls who's husband was going out with them. We started off at a really cute coffee house, went to the movies, grocery shopping, then she came back to our house to wait on them. They ended up in Greenville which is about 2 hours away to go to a car show. They got in around midnight, I cooked, then we got to bed again around 2 a.m.

We got up around 8:30, Sunday, got ready meet up with several from the group to go to one of the guys dad's church. They had a bike blessing and dinner. It's nice to know that the people he is riding with are Christians and he's with a group of really good people. Before I met these guys I was guilty of putting people who rode motorcycles into some kind of category that was unfair. I have come to learn that these guys would do anything in the world for me and especially Patt and what' s weird is I've come to learn I'd do anything in the world for them. I've come to love these people.

I get comments all the time about Patt riding and the way he rides. He's crazy on that bike, but I can't change him. I can't make him stop. I don't think I want to anymore. I really enjoy riding with him. I can see me riding with him on Tuesday nights after American Idol is finished this week, and letting him have the weekends.

It was a strange feeling this morning being in church with some of the guys. A good feeling. I wish I could describe it but I can't. I've had problems trusting in the past and as were riding home and we were flying through the curves on the back roads I realized I just needed to trust Patt. Then I thought I need to trust God. I know that sounds funny, but I have just a hard time giving myself to God. I felt free coming home this afternoon.

Ok time to go find something to eat...

2006-05-20T07:15:00.000-07:00

Click here to jon Saturday's Scavenger Hunt

Ever Easter at our church we have an early service, the men cook breakfast for the ladies and everyne brings fresh flowers to put on the cross. It is so sweet to see all the families with their kids in the new Easter outfits taking picutres by the cross. I've only been a member of this church for 1 1/2 years and it's the sweetest thing I've seen done.

In the background is our church. It's a simple town, a small community with a really big heart.

Now I can't stop talking, AND I'm a chick...blogging chick that is

2006-05-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Thank you to Denise at Moodswing Creation for my new look. There's a link with the credits if you want to visit her. She is so sweet to share her wonderful talent with us. Or you can click this link instead MoodswingCreation ! Thank you again Denise. I love this look.

I love flowers and thought this was perfect for me and the way I feel. I would have flowers all through my house if my allergies would allow it.

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Introducing...The Blogging Chicks

I was visiting Paula this morning and she was telling me all about it so I had to check it out and you know what I liked what I saw. It's a community of women blogging and the 100th person to join will get a special honor of being the 100th person to join. So since I wasn't the 100th person there's still time for it to be YOU so get on over there and join up! Click here if you want to be a Blogging Chick

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Got this email from my cousin this afternoon. Now she of all people know that I'm a tad more than slightly cracked. She loves me anyway! She's one that can overlook my moods and still look me in the eye and tell me she loves me. I adore and admire her. Maybe I should tell her that....

Few other things I wanted to tell you and didn't on the last post.

My new name....whispers of the morning. I showed Patt and it took a moment then he got it. He is all the time telling to speak up. It sounds like I'm whispering to him. ( He really needs a hearing aid and I do talk softly unless I'm mad) The meaning of Dawn is daybreak. I tried to find something that blogger had available that would go with daybreak but couldn't so I started thinking of things that I liked with morning, so that's how I came up with my new name.

The co-worker saw me in the work room this morning when I was checking my mail box and asked what happened she saw I decided to stop blogging. So I told her that too many people that knew me was reading my blog instead of talking to me. So, from now on if anybody wanted to know what was going on in my life would have to talk to me instead of reading about my life.

Ok I thought that was nicer than telling her what I really thought. I think I made my point without saying YOU+YOU=YOU!

I love Friday's over at Beth's! She always find some of the neatest quizes and I love them. So sometime this weekend I'm going to add a link to the side, it's called Break Time . I had started playing around with wordpress and if I could figure it and host my own site I would have gone there, but I know how to work blogger, so stayed here. Anyway I wanted to keep the site so I'm making it a place to keep up with the fun quizes I take while visiting Beth!

It feels so good to write and not be scared of what you can/can't say!!!

Last thing....Patt is text messaging me with funny comments nonstop this afernoon and I'm loving it I must say. They get off work at lunch on most Friday's!

Do you text message people?

Answers

2006-05-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all the response from the emails from you guys. I'm still trying to get emails to a few people so today I hope to finish.

I feel so much more at peace with myself now that I decided to make the move. Several of my friends know I have a blog and most don't understand it, but they respect my privacy and know that whatever is going on in my life they hear about first hand. I will tell anybody anything about me, but when I feel it's due to being nosey I tend to shut up and withdraw. I love my friends with all my heart and when I'm hurt I hurt with all my heart. I'd rather someone physical hurt me than emotionally hurt me.

Moving on.....

I have been out of it lately for several reasons other than the above.

I can't let go of something from my past. I have tried so many times and I've been seeing a counselor and I'm trying. I give something to God then I jerk it away thinking it's too silly for Him, or I don't deserve for Him to love me, but I know in my heart that's not true! I've started a prayer journal to write down my prayers and I'm trying to ask Him for a desire to change, a desire to let go. I can't do it anymore and I'm so tired of hurting. This has caused so much stree at home and work.

Last week one of Patt's friends came by with his girlfriend to let us know she was pregnant. Have to admit I was crushed. This was a child in my kitchen and their attitude was so loose about it. No big deal, the state of Mississippi will pay for everything. Then there was the girl smoking and drinking and me and my big mouth had to say something. I was kindly put in my place and informed that doctors don't say anything outloud but most of them will say it's ok to smoke, drink and do drugs while pregnant. My first questions was what doctor on Earth would say that? We got into this discussion where I'm slowly getting more and more mad, I look at them with disbelief. None of the 30 something doctors I've ever worked for believe that nor my former father in law that's a doctor. The only thing he's ever said was to his daughter while pregnant that a glass of red wine every now and then won't be too bad because it's high in iron. (Which she never drank) Oh and come to find out the girl is not pregnant.

Telling someone who wants a baby so bad all that bull just wacked me into major depression.

Work and no respect from the girls that I do the billing for and to find out I'm about to get even more work to do. Will not even get into that it's a no win discussion and I've learned I'm just making myself mad talking about it.

Then I'm worried about my family. I feel like something is going on and no one will talk. Mom and dad are both going down in health and knowing that your parents are not as young as they use to be and having friends lose their parents the reality is starting to dawn on me. As far as what no one will talk about that leaves me to assume.....not good to assume! I know it has nothing to do with my parents health, I just feel like I'm being pushed away by my brother. He won't talk to me about his life and that scares me. I know something is bothering him he just won't talk about. May be a good thing because I don't know what I'd say if what I'm assuming is correct.

Now some good things :) things that have made me smile!

Last week during a mood swing someone I thought was just friends with me because of a mutal friend came to me worried about me and we had a long talk. I have more friends than I realize if I just open my eyes and let them be my friends. This made a world of difference to me.

I talked and emailed a friend yesterday I haven't talked to in awhile. The one and only that knows about this blog. We're going to go out to dinner one night and play catch up. So looking forward to seeing her. Haven't seen her in over a year (can you believe it's been that long since the coast last year?) and she only works a few blocks from me. So I'm happy dancing about a night out with her.

Oh and I've had some kind of bug and not feeling good.

So there's a few things going on. I can't tell you how much better I feel now that I'm not afraid to write anything.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

a little piece of what's going on

2006-05-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

I have found out that someone from my office reads my blog. It didn't start bothering me until she would make comments to me in front of other people about what she read and her thoughts.
I started feeling like I couldn't be myself anymore like I was having to walk on egg shells just to post.

I hate having to lose my old stuff that I've written but I just didn't feel like that was my place to escape anymore. Instead I felt like I was being watched with every word I typed.

More later.......

New home

2006-05-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

welcome to my new home. i'll be telling you why i moved shortly.